Kingdom Ambassadors- Reconciled

As always, God always heightens specific content in which I'm struggling with the most, and with perfect timing of course. We have been going through some financial struggles to do job changes we made last year shifting me out of the main financial responsibility and bringing me closer to home and more time with my family. My husbands job changed to what we thought would be an increase for him. We knew we would need to reel things back a bit and were ok with that because I truly felt that this was God's plan for us. It's the times when our checking account is really low and we don't see much ahead when I struggle with His plan. I tend to want to take back control and jump back into that financial leadership spot thinking that's the only choice.  Now, I feel we live humble lives, we have a single wide on an acre of land, nothing extravagant but thankful for it. I'm happy with simple. However, it seems things are breaking one by one around the house, and we are falling behind. This is when the stress builds. But also, I love to give to others. I will give even when I can't, then stress more later. As I read chapter 8 this was my turning point for me, once again, this week: "For God is the One who provides seed for the farmer and then bread to eat. In the same way, He will provide and increase your resources and then produce a great harvest of generosity in you."

Not only will He provide for me and my family, but produce a GREAT harvest of generosity!! Whoohoo!! That's the faith I want is to know this before I stress about it!!

I'm thankful God has reminded me once again to keep my eyes focused on Him and stop letting the world tell me I need more, or I need to take back control. I know I will only cause destruction or miss out on what God's original plan was for me if I do.

Marinating....Forgiveness

This year we had a HUGE heartbreak to our family, one that no mother ever wants to face. There was a boundary crossed by one of our family friends whom we have trusted for over 10 years. We watched our children grow up. We mentored and protected them (well we thought we all did). It was and is a good reminder for us today to never give satan even a small crack or foothold into your lives. He seeks only to destroy, and that is exactly what he has done to our relationships.

Regardless, it's been almost 5 months since we've spoken. My heart has been heavy since day one to reach out to the mom (who had been my one of my best friends for over 10 years) however, that's why I think it's natural for me to want to reach out to her, but when my pride jumps in and says "Hey, they did this to you!" and "They should be apologizing to me!" I reel back and don't take that step. It's been a roller coaster for months now.

After reading these last few chapters I really feel God telling me, once again, to take the first step. I know He has already forgiven them and I know it will not put the pieces back like they were before, however, it's a healing process that God will ultimately use for His glory. So please pray with me as I work to start a letter to her. I think this way would be the best way to say things from my heart and not causing any defenses to arise.

My favorite quote from Chapter 4 is "When you and I focus on how we've been done wrong in our past, we do not focus on how we've been done right by Jesus!"
 
So I may not feel orphaned but definitely feel abandoned. I pray I feel adopted once again into a circle of friends who I can always trust. Thank you for your prayers!

Taking off the old "Afraid" to putting on the new "Courageous"

I had so many quotes that I loved in chapter one, but I think this one is my favorite, "God only stitches new labels in the hearts of those who are humble enough to admit they need new ones." Wow!! We are required to make the first step!

 

I look back in my past and see how many times I was afraid of something, well, too many to actually count, however a few stood out to me. One was the decision of divorce and becoming a single parent was one of my biggest I think, especially since this was before my salvation and faith in Christ. It's not one I talk about too much because of the label acquired. I knew God was there, but I was too strong-willed and prideful to accept His help. I started afraid with tons of questions not only for my life but for my daughter's. Though I was not a Christ-follower I truly believe He lead me and guided me the entire time, though it took many stumbles getting there as I attempted on my own. I don't believe I would have made it without him giving me the courage to press forward or even to tell you about it today. Second, was God's call on my life to work in the Church. It was not something I EVER saw myself doing. I'm not a spotlight type of person. I like to work/serve behind the scenes.  I try not to let what other people say negatively about things I do or may do bother me. I believe we can learn from them. However, when God's call is clear I had only one decision to make, to be obedient. Sure the fear hovered for a while, but God's grace in each day, each event, with each child He brings to me has allowed me to be so much stronger because I now have the "courageous" label!

 

I'm excited to start this Bible study with each of you and cant wait to read your stories.